I really just don't know where to start this blog. I'm exhausted...probably mostly from the emotions of this afternoon.
Because of Polina's paralysis, her balance is not good. However, she is fearless and strong willed and doesn't typically listen to me when I tell her she is doing something that is unsafe and she might get hurt. Frankly, I'm surprised it's taken 9 months before she got hurt since becoming our daughter. Perhaps part of that is my over-protection out of paranoia based on the way the Russian Government is so quick to conclude American parents are abusive to their Russian adopted children. That's not a fun shadow to live under! But today, I was a step away and she learned the hard way.
She was sitting in a chair at the dining room table. We had just finished homework. She turned and tried to pick the dog up, shifting her weight and falling onto the tile floor. I saw it happen, but wasn't fast enough to catch her. I scooped her up off the floor before she could even start crying.
Here's the kicker: as tight as I held her, she held me tighter. She gripped her arms around my neck as she cried and I tried to calm her.
In that moment, the emotion was more than what I typically feel when my children are hurt. It was so much more.
Polina held onto me like a hurt child holds onto her mother.
I can't put that into words.
Regardless of the rough issues that have come along with adoption - those that I'm not ready to share publicly yet - in those moments, I got the seal of approval. She held onto me tightly. She wanted me to comfort her and hold her and make her feel better. She wanted her mommy like kids do when they are hurt. And I AM HER MOMMY!
Our neighbor happens to be a nurse. She checked her eyes for me and reassured me that her pupils were reactive and just to keep her awake for awhile. We had to take Carter to boy scouts, so went on a little dinner date and then to get some hot chocolate and practice writing with a new iPad app.
During this time, I couldn't help but think of another little girl hugging her momma's neck.
This momma has become a dear friend of mine. She followed our adoption and we met in person this summer. Her youngest son (she has five) has Spina Bifida and is the same age as Polina. She has such a big heart, she is adopting another special needs child. Meet Tracy and Sofi. Look at that hair! I wish I could show you her eyebrows!
Sofi spent the first 2.5 years of her life in a crib, literally! But now, she has a mommy, a daddy and five brothers.....waiting to bring her home.
This adoption is not only close to my heart because Tracy is my friend. You see, Sofi reminds me so much of Katya and Vika...girls that are stuck in the orphanage Polina came from. Girls that are ignored because they are believed to be "numb." Like Katya and Vika, Sofi eats mashed food, can't roll over and is non-verbal because she doesn't get the care she could in a family.
Reading what Tracy has shared on her blog reminds me of the way Katya and Vika responded to me when I took the time to tickle them, play ball with them, and hold them....things no one ever does with them....because they are "numb."
doesn't look at one thing for very long, but there were times that a
caught her taking a glimpse at me. Those moments were life
altering....and when she purposefully put her arm on mine and rubbed my
arm back and forth I knew that she knew somehow that we belong together.
the end of the week, as I was holding her (and holding back my tears),
she put her head down and gave my hand an open mouth kiss (the way
babies kiss) and repeated that motion about five times. She struggles
to make her body do what she wants it to do, but those small moments
when she is able to is like a victory to me. When I put her on the
blanket, she would move her body side to side, trying desperately to
roll over. She's not quite there, but once she's home, she will learn
to roll all over the place."
Here's the thing. While the Jensen Family is one signature away from a court date, they are also $3,500 away from that same court date. They may get their signature on Thursday, but they don't have the $3,500 (about $6,000 total needed). This family has done so, so much fundraising. They've done their due diligence over the past 15 months since they started this process. Now it's our turn to stand up and fill in the gap. Don't make this little girl wait longer for her parents to bring her home where she will thrive in the caring environment every child deserves.
Can you dig in your pocket, skip a pumpkin spice, and find $5 or $10 to help bring this little girl home? Do you have more you can give? Perhaps you could give in memory of someone or as a gift to someone who has a heart for the orphan? Maybe you're the type that is afraid of needles and gets queasy at the sight of blood so you can't donate blood or bone marrow. Here's your chance to give life without any of that.
How thankful are you for your family this November? Can you spread that gratitude to help a 4-year-old orphan be a daughter and a sister by Christmas? Christ was sent to give us a new chance at life. HE GAVE HIS LIFE!!! And you can help give a new life to this little girl.
Polina wore a shirt today that says, "Best Present Ever." I was explaining to her what that meant. Please consider giving this precious girl and family the best present ever!
You can read more of Tracy's blog, see more pictures and find out how to donate on her blog.
Thank you for considering it.
Bless & Be Blessed!