My-My Cafe Outing

Wednesday was our first full day with our baby girl and we were excited to take her out into Moscow. We wanted to see as much as we could and take pictures with her there so that she has those to see as she grows up and remind her of where she came from.

But first, a visit from the doctor, who we paid some extra American cash to come to our apartment rather than taking Polina to the clinic. She was recovering from Chicken Pox and this was just the best way for everyone. He was very kind, took a quick look at her, told us not to bathe her for two more days, and was on his way.

We decided we would take her to My-My Cafe on Starry Arbat. It was within walking distance and it was our favorite Russian food we had had. It is also buffet style, so she could pick out what she wanted.

We didn't do a very good job of getting the cow in the picture, but at least we have the My-My logo in the background. (It's pronounced Moo-Moo)

The walk was nice, but now we had to figure out what to do with the stroller. The wheels were muddy from the walk and we couldn't just leave it outside for fear it would be stolen. Luckily, we found a table right inside the door and were able to fold it up and lay it on the entrance mat where it was out of the way and not causing a muddy mess. That was a blessing!

Cabbage & Meatball Soup? Yes Please!

I'm not sure what you call this - it looks like a chicken leg, but it's the skin stuffed with stuff.

I've talked a lot in my blog about how Moscow isn't accessible to those with handicapping conditions requiring ambulatory assistance. We didn't take a wheelchair with us for that reason and bought a very expensive stroller partly because of that reason. The wheels on this stroller pop off very easily so that we were able to get it in and out of the very slim doors in the Moscow buildings. It also has rugged wheels that allowed us to maneuver through the bumpy sidewalks and potholes. Our agency facilitators told us repeatedly what an amazing "machine" it was and it made me feel better about the purchase. 

The next two pictures are of us using the stroller tracks on the stairways to go underground and cross streets in Moscow. There are some intersections that require you to go underground. There were tracks for the strollers, but no access for a wheelchair. 

I'm really glad we decided to take the trip out to My-My. Polina still talks about it. Going to a cafe is on her top 5 list of favorite things. That being said, it was a difficult trip for a short walk and we didn't really look forward to the challenge again. The only other time we ventured out was to Red Square - and even then, we used a driver instead of walking there.

The Bitterness in Bittersweet

It's Tuesday. That means my daughter has been in my care for two weeks. What a difference two weeks makes! 

In my last blog, I told you what we did that first night in the apartment after arriving at 7 pm. I didn't have the pictures available at the time, so I'm going to re-cap with photos here. However, the real purpose of this blog is to tell you why I think it took Polina 3 hours to go to sleep after such a long day with no nap. 

Taking a picture in my "little sister" shirt before my bath. My mommy chose this shirt for me to wear on "Gotcha Day" because it is representative of me being in a family - an orphan no more!

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the bathtub, even though I don't like water in my ears! I haven't had a real bath since the baby house...over a year ago. 

Check out my super-awesome blanket from Russian friends! It is sooooooo soft!

Mommy's first chance to do my hair. She never realized just how long it was. I'm not a real big fan of having my hair done, but we are getting better at it!

All done and looking pretty!

I was quite captivated by the lights and traffic from the window of our apartment. My mommy writes about this below. 

Okay, in bed. Look at those eyes...curious...what's going to happen next?

Mommy read me a book called "I'll Love You Forever." I listened intently to the first half, and then I started counting the rest of the pages to see how much we had left. The second night, I sat and listened to the whole thing.

And here is the bitter hidden in the sweet...

I thought after such a long, exciting day with no nap and a nice warm bath, my little princessa dotchka would fall asleep quickly with her mommy laying by her side. Not so. If you scroll up to that picture of Polina sitting in the window, you will see a seemingly happy little girl. What you don't see is what is going on in that amazing little mind of hers. On the way to Moscow from Dmitrov, Polina asked several times who would stay with her in Moscow, if she would be by herself, etc. We of course reassured her that she would be with us. She also told me what was my worst nightmare - some of the caregivers had told her that we weren't coming to get her and she wasn't going to get to go to America. One of the older boys at the orphanage had told her that her mom and dad weren't coming because she was a (bad name). I just told her that they were wrong, that we had come for her and we were going to take her to America in a few days. I really didn't think she had a concept of America other than it meant she would live with us in a house, but I have realized since then that she does in fact have the concept that it is a totally different place. All of what I just told you was in the presence of interpreters who told us what she said and translated our response to her. But when we got to the flat, we were on our own...no more translator.

I took a video of her in that windowsill...and it wasn't until 3 days later that I found out what she said in the video. 

My precious baby girl said, "I bet I'm not going to America, I bet I'm only going to the hospital." 

After nearly 6 years of being an orphan, and being told by her caregivers and other kids that she wasn't going to go to America, our reassurance in the car just wasn't enough. What else was she supposed to think? The only time she had been outside the baby house or orphanage was to go to the hospital. The hospital is in Moscow, and there's a pretty good chance she saw the same sights and sounds from her hospital window. And so, in addition to the excitement of the day was the many questions going on in this little girl's mind. Questions no little girl every, anywhere should have to worry about. And so, it took her 3+ hours to finally fall asleep. And when she did, it was the most precious sight...

She was mine and no one was ever going to take her from me!

Gotcha Day, Part 2 (FINALLY!)

I know many of you have been awaiting this. I'm sorry it's taken so long, and this may not be the greatest post as I'm trying to do it while myo princessa dochka is sleeping.

We were starving...it was almost 1:00 pm. There was no breakfast, it was a long night and a longer morning in the car and taking care of business in various buildings. But, there was no time for food because if we didn't make it by nap time, I was sure that we'd have to wait a couple more hours and we still had to go by the passport office on the way home.

Back to the orphanage we went...everything we needed. The cameras would have to wait outside. Poor Kirill had been waiting outside for hours in the snow. We went in, past the guard, and up to an office I'd never been in before down from the Directors. That was a relief. To not be in her office was a positive thing. Friendly faces of three women greeted us. The MOE representative gave her what she needed. She was filling out more paperwork.

I was asked for Polina's clothes. I handed them over...disappointed that I wasn't going to get to dress her yet. A few minutes later...she was wheeled in. There she was...my daughter wearing a shirt that said "Little Sister." She now had a family. Belonging. Identity.

And she was beautiful as always with her hair in two braids down each side. Pretty sure Angie did that. Thank you Angie! Thank you for all you did for our little girl and for all you do for the others!

Polina's first words to me? "Do I get to go with you Mommy?"

I got to say YES! I didn't have to leave her behind again! I have tears in my eyes as I type that.

I took her picture with Angie and we gave her a picture frame with a picture of Polina - one for her and one for another caregiver. And then, the director came in.

She didn't address us personally. She talked to some others in the room and then told us best wishes to our backs and left. We didn't know she was talking to us, but we were told. I had a nice picture frame with a picture of Polina in it for her, so I ran down to her office to give it to her. Kindness kills the heart...or something like that.

A few minutes later, she came back and things got tense. We couldn't make it out of there one time without the arguing? Really? Polina didn't need that! I didn't know what was being said, but she did.

I was told, "Let's get out of here as soon as possible."

You don't have to tell me twice.

I left the other three picture frames on the table to be given to the other caregivers. I shoved everything in the bag and picked Polina up without figuring out the broken zipper on her jacket. I could hold her against me to the car and it would be okay. So off we went...for the last time...leaving that.......place. Later, I was told that the picture frames were given back to one of our escorts, saying that they were just junk.

I had my daughter in my arms. That was jubilant.

But I was leaving others behind. Katya, Vika, Igor, Sasha, Valeria. I could go on. I will never forget those kids. I will never forget one of our translators telling me, "You're right, (she) isn't numb...she understands you!" or another crying for me and being put in the hallway and left alone in her wheelchair for well over an hour, because they think she's "numb" too. I will never forget these two girls just longing for human touch or their ecstatic squeels and delightful smiles when they got it. For Heaven's sake...just because a kid can't talk doesn't mean they don't understand. They should not be ignored and left sitting, in the back of the room or in the hallway, ignored. Play hand-over-hand with them. Tickle them. Hold them. Watch them bloom! As they say in America, I "triple-dog-dare you." It will change their lives, and it will change yours!

Sorry for the tangent.

We were in the van, on the way back to Moscow, with our daughter. It was a trip filled with wonderful moment and heartbreaking moments. Bittersweet was a recurrent theme this day. Polina would love on me. We listened to music and rocked together.

And then she told me, "I cried last night Momma. (Two of my caregivers) told me you weren't coming to get me and I wasn't going to go to America." My heart sank. My throat swelled. I was angry. I was disgusted. But I had to hold it together for her. And so I told her they were wrong, that Mommy was taking her home to America in a few days and she would never have to go back there. She went on to tell us about a boy in the orphanage who told her we weren't coning to take her because she was a (b****).

He was wrong too Polina. You are myo princessa dotchka now and I will take you to America!

She asked who would be with her in Moscow, if she would be alone, where she would sleep. We reassured her she would never be alone and we would always be with her.

The passport office was quick, we got some groceries, and we made it to our apartment around 6:30 that night.

I lived my dream that night. I fed her, gave her a bath, did her hair, read her a book and snuggled her. It took her three hours to fall asleep. I'll post in a future blog why I believe that is. But for now, my princess daughter is awake, and I have to go!

If you haven't seen this ABC news story (Thank you Kirit Radia!) you should watch it!

http://abcnews.go.com/International/video/american-couple-finally-leave-russia-adopted-daughter-18429896

We are HOME!

Jumping ahead in the story...we are in our HOME...a family of four. The kids are both asleep in their own beds & very much love each other!

I'm sorry I haven't had time to blog the rest of gotcha day yet, but I'll get there.

Thank you all for your love, prayers & support. Please continue to pray for Polina and Carter both as we all transition into this new, amazing life!

Gotcha Day Part 1 - They Told Her I Wasn't Coming

A shower or a blog while Polina is sleeping snuggly? I think there's a lot of people waiting for a blog, so the shower will have to wait.

Adoptive families celebrate the day they are awarded custody of their child as "Gotcha Day."  It's like having a second birthday and something we always celebrate. For us, that day is Jan. 29th, 2013. We never would have imagined the way it would go when we started this process, or even the day before, really. And honestly, there's so much about it that I can't tell you yet. I will try here to sum it up the best I can ...to even give you a glimmer into the emotion of the day ...telling you what I can & using pictures. If you read closely and pay attention, you'll catch some things I intend to not blatantly point out.

Our alarms went off at 5:30am. We had some "guests" arrive at 6:30 and the caravan began at 7am. We stopped to pick up a passenger in the minivan about half an hour later. I filled out some embassy paperwork before the pretty part of the drive. Then came the beauty of the forrest on a Russian snowy winter day. It's beauty made up for my freezing feet! We stopped at our regular stop just before town where we met up with the others in the caravan. Such a thing is difficult to keep together in the Moscow traffic!

At 9:15, we headed to the local Ministry of Education. It was a nasty building inside on the first floor. You never would think it was a government building except maybe a prison. I can't imagine at this point what they look like. We were directed upstairs where it was at least a little cleaner and into the office of four women. We were warmly greeted by smiles as they all knew why we were there - the last Americans to adopt their child from this region. We knew that the lady we were here to meet would help us get our daughter from the orphanage where the director had been less than friendly to us on our previous visits. We showed our passports and signed some papers. We adjusted the seating arrangements in the caravan so that she could ride with us and headed to the orphanage.

I felt like I was going to throw up. I had such a mix of emotions. Anticipation and excitement at one end and apprehensive on the other. I was going to meet my daughter for the first time & it was not a day I wanted to experienc the conflict of the past when visiting her. Most importantly, I didn't want her to have to experience that. On top of that, I had been told upon arrival in Moscow that Polina had chicken pox and I wanted to be able to comfort her during this treacherous feeling.

The unknown is hard for in general, but as a Momma who has had to fight for her daughter and would do everything in my power to protect her, not knowing is nearly unbearable. I didn't know if anyone had told her about the ban, and if they had, did they tell her that we werent coming after we had told her we were? This was the nightmare that had run through my head everyday since the adoption ban was signed. I was very saddened on the way back to Moscow when Polina told us (unsolicited and out of the blue) she had cried just the day before when a couple of the caregivers had told her that her parents were not coming for her and she was not going to America. She told us who they were by name & I recognized one of them. I can not express the anger I felt that my child was unnecessarily caused so much anguish and despair. It's just pure emotional & mental torture to do such a thing!

Moving on...

The lady from the Ministry of Ed went in, leaving us outside. We went on a little walk to have our translator tell us about some of the buildings we had always wondered about when visiting the orphanage. The city was founded in 1154 - seven years after Moscow. This could partially explain why the MOE building was so nasty. In 1941 (sorry for the incorrect date the first time, give a tired girl a break!), the Germans were stopped there on their way to Moscow. Russia lost more souls to WWII than any other nation. There was someone at the gates of what we assumed was a school because there were always children nearby. He told us that this was one of the best schools in Russia based on some "contest" they had a few years back and that they had only the best teachers. Sound like American Standardized testing to me. Just think...one of the best schools in Russia with the best teachers...on the same street where my daughter lived...

I thought it was going to be time to go in and get my daughter. My emotions were high, but it turned out we had some more business to take care of. So back in the car we went to do that. It took us hours  filled with stress, conflict, a security guard and an escorted trip to the "chief's" office for some. But in the end, it was all resolved and we had what we needed. Now the question was if we were going to make it back before Polina went down for her nap and the director had another reason not to let her leave immediately. we were all pretty hungry at that point - but it didn't matter. We were going to get our girl!

Less than 24 hrs

In less than 24 hours, we will pick up Polina. My first job as her Momma, cover my baby girl in каламин Лосьон  and cuddle her. That's right - she's got chicken pox. At least that's what they think it is. We will have a doctor come to see her where we are staying to know for sure what we are dealing with. She is far enough into it that it shouldn't hinder our process as long as it is in fact chicken pox.
It was very humbling today when we met with our facilitator and she told us it is widely believed that my Dec. 26 blog that was translated & published all over Russian blogs was an integral part of the decision to allow those through the court system to come home. That's what it's all about for me - getting all of the orphans that have met their parents home.
Other than that, things are going well. We are meeting with "old" and new friends and filling out paperwork, going to the grocery store & pharmacy. I'm reading more and more and recognizing places. I'm sad to know that this is our last time here for awhile. My heart has grown huge for the Russian citizens & of course the orphans! I know that God is working there somehow. He knows where it is going even while I do not.

Two Ways to Help

UPDATE: Our matching grant with Titus Task was matched  thank you all for blessing us!

I've been hesitant to post information about donations for several reasons, but so many have asked, and we are going forward with travel plans, so I've decided to go ahead and share.

We have been blessed to be given a matching grant by Titus Task. To get more information or to donate, you can visit: http://www.thetitustask.com/skaggs-family.html

Also, if you are an employee of the Bentonville School District, you can contact HR to donate a personal day to me to be used for leave when we travel back to Russia. That is worth quite a bit to our family as I am out of days at this time. Thank you to the two people that donated for the last trip!

Thanks for your consideration!